It has taken me nearly a year to grow the courage to share this.
When my mom passed away, my entire world crumbled. I lost my mom, my best confidant, my biggest supporter and one of the reasons I am alive today. She will never see me get married, meet the man that has truly made my world a better place, meet her future grandchildren, see my brother graduate college, and see both of us live out our dreams. I can never text her randomly, hear her say "I love you bug", or watch her wave goodbye to me from the driveway as I leave.
I still remember every second, every word said, and everything I felt that night. My dad called me (which he never does so I knew something was wrong) to tell me that my mom was in the hospital. Him and my mom had gone out to eat at Golden Corral (which I can't bring myself to eat at to this day). On their way home, my mom was driving and complained that she wasn't feeling good. She had to throw up. As she was throwing up, she started having chest pains. After she finally felt a little better, she got in car and my dad drove this time. He looked over a her a few minutes later and she was unconscious. He pulled over and called 911 and began to perform CPR on her. She went to the hospital and died around 2-3 hours later of a heart attack. Later, we learned that she suffered with COPD. It slowly and silently attacked her. My mom was 42 years old when she passed away.
Jason and I were driving down to South Florida in a hurry when my dad called and told us to pull over. That's when he told me my mom passed away.
My heart shattered. My faith completely disappeared. Anger at God STILL continues to destroy any happiness that I even begin to feel. And nearly a year later from that horrifying night, I am still haunted.
